Alex Ferguson is the best manager Ive ever had at this level. Well, hes the only manager Ive actually had at this level. But hes the best manager Ive ever had.
After much deliberation following England's terrific 2 - 1 loss against Russia last night, it is with a heavy heart that the staff at eatfootball have decided to shut up shop and concentrate instead on a sport that this fine country is actually good at. Ladies and Gentlemen, we give to you: eatdarts.net.
We will be reviewing this situation through the bottom of a glass on the 17th of November, but until then, here's the latest exciting darts news:
Darts Player Found not to be Taking Performance Debilitating Drugs A top darts players drink was last night sent for analysis after insiders were shocked to observe it contained no alcohol at all. A ban is likely to follow.
Phil 'The Power' Taylor Reviews New Fosters Super Chilled - 'Tastes like cold cat piss' - Phil
Premiership footballers and managers were all rushing to claim bizarre past successes today.
They were spurred on, no doubt, by news just out that Joey Barton, the Newcastle injury list fixture, has claimed the credit for Manchester City’s performances on the park this season, after he left the side.
Later today Steve McClaren is expected to extend the credit for England’s last two performances, both 3-0 victories, to the big-gobbed bad-boy. “Even when Joey isn’t on the park, or even in the squad, I can’t deny the positive effect on the team that his absence creates.”
Watchers of John Barnes Football Night on Channel Five (yes, both of you) are expected to hear him claim the credit for recent Liverpool successes, including their breathtaking Champions League win in 2005. “Joey has a point, how many players can have such an effect after leaving a team?”
Press conferences with Doug Ellis had to be called off after Villa threw away a three-goal lead on Monday night. It is now understood that the reason for the media call was for him to claim the credit for Villa’s recent, though spluttering, start to the season. But after the dramatic end to the match his advisors felt he should wait until a few more victories were nailed to the mast.
Sir Walter Winterbottom is due to be summoned from the grave to claim his part in Sir Alf Ramsey’s 1966 World Cup victory, and George Best (that’s enough! Ed).
After much deliberation following England's terrific 2 - 1 loss against Russia last night, it is with a heavy heart that the staff at eatfootball have decided to shut up shop and concentrate instead on a sport that this fine country is actually good at. Ladies and Gentlemen, we give to you: eatdarts.net. 
Premiership footballers and managers were all rushing to claim bizarre past successes today. 
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