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Frankly, we’ve been rendered speechless by this festive seasonal image of insanity. Is this meant to be ironic? It’s like a Hamley’s window designed by Liberace-inspired elves on crack. It’s fantabulously awful, and we love it.
Link: Footballers in Fancy Dress
Wahey and TGIF: It’s the Thursday Thigh Off.
*cough*
This week we’re exploring the “ballers as alcohol” theory using Zinedine Zidane and Luis Figo:
the more they age, the better they get.
Grab a drink and click through for the action.
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Think it’s time Fernando Torres was granted his place as the King of all Side-Eye/ Bitch-Please faces, don’t you?
First the incident with Skrtel, and now this classic? He’s a legend in cut-eye, Kickettes. We learn from him daily.
FYI: After he decimated this fan/ebay seller with a devastating look of judgment, Fernando did sign the Gerrard jersey for him.
FYI for the many of us that have a girl-crush on Cheryl Cole. It’s probably not a sexual thing. It’s her clothes we’re hot for.
Let us state for the record: we are not feeling much, if any, loving feelings towards her jeans here. Nor any lust for her street sweepers.
But, we would consider taking Cheryl’s dimples out for caviar and vodka.
FYI, did you know that Cheryl came in seventh in the “Hot Women Other Women Want to Snog” list? She was beaten out by Julia Roberts and Myleene Klass.
Sergio “Kun” Aguero traveled to Madrid instead of playing for Argentina yesterday because his fiancée, Gianinna Maradona, was admitted to hospital. Gianinna is six months pregnant.
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Arnaud Garnier has emerged from the mountain of ball juggling tricksters to claim victory at the Street Style World Football tourny. As you would expect, he’s pretty damn good.
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Even though watching Carly Zucker head slowly into having a nervous breakdown brought on by homesickness has it’s appeal, we think we’re done with I’m A Celebrity…. already. This is why. Boobalicious annoyances aside, Nicola McLean’s man, Tom Williams, is pretty loved up and proud of her.
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Life as the Beckhams: Posh straps ‘em up. Becks gets hit on. Good times.
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Goodness. White shorts + flexibility = interesting photographic study of John Terry’s anatomy.
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Plasmati’s short-dropping free kick pic? Seriously, about 40 gazillion Kickettes checked in to make sure we had seen it. Can’t think why one would assume this is something we would be interested in… Also, when is this man going to be given some sort of honorary knighthood or something?
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Our key reading material for the year is out: Forbes 10 Richest Men in Football. Photocopy the list and give it to all the women you care about in your life.
Oh, how we wish we could more regularly update this particular type of story.
Unfortunately, the numerous hidden cameras we plant regularly at various dressing room locations never seem to focus in on the more pertinent areas of interest.
Considering how comfy footy players are with putting it out there, we’re surprised we don’t have several thousand archived images. ‘Tis one of life’s most painful mysteries.
Anyhoo, today we have unearthed photographic evidence of one completely nekkid former Real Madrid and Real Bettis goalkeeper, Pedro Contreras.
Sadly, the pic is not as amusing nor as impressive as our first find in this category, of Matthew Bates (Middlesbrough). But when you’re starving, sometimes (only sometimes), you have to suck it up and eat a carb. So, we’ll take the photo of Pedro whoseywhatsits and not complain.
As you can imagine, the pics of both Matthew and Pedro are for grown ups and totally, absolutely Not Safe For Work. (Unless you work at Kickette, of course.)
Link: Pedro Contreras Sans Clothes
Link: Matthew Bates Also Sans Clothes
Isn’t it always the way?
You drop an earring and everyone says they’ll help you find it, but they’re too busy practicing their seducto-faces for post game pick up.
Looking at you three at the back. Come on, lads. That 2 carat diamond stud isn’t going to just find itself. Get to work.
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Fancy chatting with the pro-England Kickettes during the match? Feel free to click over here during game time. Perhaps you can help ID half of the squad as we’ve never seen half of these people before in our lives. FYI, if you can’t get to your local, here’s some info on watching games online.
image via AFP
Sigh. We love collar-up-grey-jumper-wearing-painfully-clenched-finger Zizou.
Footballers aren’t just skirt-chasing stamina machines of well-toned muscle and large bank accounts, you know.
They do have softer sides. Not sure about you, but we love to see the sensitive come out in our ballers. Here are a few recent touchy-feely moments we enjoyed hearing about:
*Cue opera aria and cut to white fluffy bunny jumping across screen*
1. Rio Ferdinand. After Manchester United’s loss to Arsenal, the abalicious defender was on his way to see his family at a hotel for a birthday celebration. But he was feeling so flustered about the loss he had his driver take a stop - in West Ham country, no less - and he headed into the pub for a little mental recuperation. Says Rio:
“When you lose against Arsenal it does your head in. I was going back to meet my family in a hotel for my birthday. It was meant to be a happy time. So I thought before I go back maybe I’ll go and have a couple of drinks in a pub. I told the driver to stop off at some pub. He said ‘I can’t let you go in there.’ I had my United tracksuit on in a West Ham area. I said ‘Nah, just drop me off.’ So he did. I could see people going ‘What’s he doing in here?’ I had a couple of drinks, three packets of crisps and sat in the corner watching the results on TV.“
For those non-British Kickettes, we must explain that the pub, (or a cup of tea), is the nation’s answer to most of life’s problems.
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... and looks pretty damn good whilst doing it, yes? Click and zoom, Kickettes, her eye makeup in the show is divine.
Claude Makelele’s hard working/real job having other half was out working for Victoria’s Secret at the Fontainebleau Miami Beach Hotel this weekend doing a fashion show and beach bikini-type photoshoot romp.
Can you imagine the stress of the pose-off in this situ? Let’s hope Noemie held her own and spot kicked the competition out of the way.
Interested in having a visual of some of your favourite ballers every single day of 2009?
We know, we know, silly question.
We’ve got some lush 2009 footy calendars to giveaway:
David Beckham (he’s bearded, but it’s still good); Cristiano Ronaldo (he’s not clothed, it’s all good); Steven Gerrard (clothed, but well-attired) and; the England squad (come on, Engerland!).
Well.
If it isn’t the lovely Gerard Pique of FC Barcelona, all 6 foot something of scrumminess avec beard stubble, bed head and…
fuschia pink shoelaces.
Trend watchers, are you on this?
-Click to enlarge image-
We certainly hope all our readers are regulars over at Studs-Up.com. Are you familiar? It’s great fun for footy fans with a sense of humour and never fails to bring out the comic geekette that lies within all of us.
After much arm-twisting and sand-castle promises to provide the phone number/address of several D-list WAGs, their dashing editor Chris has agreed to grant us eternal life via smutty cartoons. We are forever indebted.
Alas, the situation above is only make-believe. We have no such category for photos on Kickette. We’ll keep dreaming.
Do check out some of the Studs-Up archives too - this one gave us a giggle.
